ON BREAKING UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND

A friend at work said
“I’ll have to get you laid”
To her it seemed the best
That she could do
She said she’d sort me out
With a WPC, over at Police HQ

A WPC to just for me
To shake away my blues
A WPC to just for me
Complete with black stocking
and sensible shoes

Fantasies soon filled my mind
A WPC just for me
I wondered what I would find
I’d be squeezing her breast
Through a bullet proof vest
In the name of the law
I’d paw in the name of the law

A WPC to just for me
To beat away my blues
A WPC to just for me
Complete with black stocking
and sensible shoes
The handcuffs
I won’t even go there
Nor the mace in my face
But love we would make with abandonment
Without care, till our fun was done
Then she’d lay on my bed
Resting her head
And would fall into a delicate slumber
I stare at her jacket
On the back of my chair
And memorise her shoulder number

A WPC to just for me
To frisk away my blues
A WPC to just for me
Complete with black stocking
and sensible shoes

It would all be arresting
It would be very testing
But I’d try not to do anything rash
What else could I do
With PC1422
‘cept hoped she didn’t find my stash

She’d be back on her beat
Her life now complete
Remembering our moments pleasure
She would drive like a star
In her little blue car
Knowing she had buried me
Like a piece of old treasure

A WPC to just for me
To charge away my blues
A WPC to just for me
Complete with black stocking
and sensible shoes


But is wasn’t wedding bells
That I heard in the cells
Hosed down in my prime
And my glory
I was sitting behind bars
Instead of under the stars
The last sentence in this little story

A WPC to just for me
To lock away my blues
A WPC to just for me
Complete with black stocking up to her bum
and shiny black sensible shoes