FAT FACE

It was the morning of the party
Decorations filled the place
I woke up feeling happy
Until I saw my fat face

Terry drove me to A & E
He drove at quiet a pace
We have an emergency here he said
This man has a big fat face

A young Australian medic
Was shortly on my case
He laughed beneath his Aussie breath
When he confronted my fat face

We were told to sit, told to wait
Until they had room, until they had space
For an extremely upset man
With a big fat fucking face

Others were seen straight away
Of injury there was no trace
I sat there getting agitated
Oi! Look at me, I've got a fat face!

I'm not just a number I shouted
I'm still part of the human race
You're treating everyone before me
Can't you see I've got a fat face

Eventually a doctor called me
Her good looks were her saving grace
As she did nothing at all to help me
She just prodded at my fat face

What are you doing tonight, I asked
Thinking I was playing my ace
I'll be studying advances in medicine
Not out with you and your fat face

I upped and went, got out of there
Left her without a trace
She won't remember my name again
But she'll never forget my fat face